Friday, December 21, 2007

Gordon Moss announced he likes pepperoni pizza for breakfast

Gordon Moss announced he likes pepperoni pizza for breakfast. "I've eaten it all my life and from this point forward I'll eat it every morning for breakfast. It's got to be good for me or the pizza place up the street would not sell it".

The pizza place up the street would not comment.

For many years people have thought Gordon Moss liked tuna fish sandwiches for breakfast, but with this announcement everything becomes very clear. The chocolate Gordon Moss was allegedly eating for breakfast remains untouched in his sock drawer. Gordon said he usually eats his pizza while he watches the news on TV, but lately he watches cartoons as they are "more enlightening". The cartoons he watched he would not disclose.

Gordon is rumored to eat breakfast wearing one white sock, one orange sock, a rubber body suit, a bow tie, a purple top hat, and lime green pajamas. They also say he likes to do to dance in front of the tv when the commercials come on as he gets his daily exercise that way.

He said he might adopt a cat named "Robert" or a goat named "Billy". He is really up in the air "I'm an undecided voter" Gordon said.

Then, he added "I might just get a goldfish named Jester". Well, no one really knows but Gordon also believes if you put sand under your pillow at night the sand fairy will leave you $100 bill. "That's something I have to try" Gordon said.

Gordon also spends his day reading books on this history of pocket lint, the current penguin shortage in Africa, the number of pounds of whale feces in the south Atlantic which he cited as "unusually high", and also writing short stories about angry dwarfs hell-bent on taking over the world. He said "They are a lot like garden gnomes - only different".

Many people think Gordon is strange considering he one-time walked through Central Park picking up soda can tabs, and likes to drink coffee in the rain - outdoors.

Yet, there is nothing that seems to upset him worse than when the light goes on and off in his fridge as he opens and shuts the door - "That's just disturbing" he said.

His old neighbor said "He's a really nice guy - just a little different". Gordon once went signed up for an all you can eat pizza buffet because the Swedish girl that asked him too was a knock-out. Gordon does not deny this saying "She had nice eyes - and other amazing assets".

Well, while he does like Swedes he insists that Finland got it's named because of the fish part, but no one seems to know why. He says that "fishing is something they do good at - but, they make a great cell phone, too".

Gordon Moss also spends his time donating to charities that really make a difference in the world and was recently named "Man Of The Year" by the Pineapple Jumping Institute. Gordon says "That was indeed a great honor and a truly life changing experience for me. I got a great award, but for the help it gave to children all over the world that had never had an opportunity to jump a pineapple leaves a mark on me".

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Look What You Can Do With Barrels Of Cash

Gordon Moss announced on Sunday that he has purchased a $3.75 million dollar ferret farm in southern Alabama. This is a complete working farm complete with - ferrets.

Ferret farming is a lasting tradition in the mind of Gordon Moss who has said "Ferret farming is an unappreciated art form. Only Gordon Moss knows how to really farm ferrets".

The fact is most people do not realize that Gordon Moss is one of the top ferret farmers in the world, and has created a special diet for them - and even a special organic ice cream designed for ferrets on those hot summer days."

"Ferrets have always had a special place in the heart of Gordon Moss" said Gordon Moss. Gordon Moss actually traveled cross country with a small army of 12 ferrets dressed in costume for Halloween six years ago.

Gordon Moss is also a world championship soap carver, and believes Turtle Wax should only be used for turtles. Gordon Moss lives in Michigan on Gordon Moss Blvd.


For more information:

Contact Gordon Moss at 248-624-8912

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